One of the perks of being a female, potty talk. It's been a long time since I've gone to the bathroom with a group of girls, but it used to be one of the highlights of my day. Going to the bathroom with my girls in between classes, at lunch, at a party. It was the place to "catch up" on the gossip and did you see so and so doing such and such and did you hear what he/she said? It was always the place to make sure you were looking your best and that your outfit was cute. The bathroom at our home or my friends homes were always packed before a big night out. It didn't matter who was doing what in the bathroom either, we all just did our thing and talked non stop. It was great. So, this is what I found my girls doing, practicing their potty talk. Good for them, keep the female traditions going.
My back yard is a mud pit. Again. We have done this before, a couple of years ago when we got the
swing set. Another story. A few months ago we had to have the two big trees in our yard taken down. They were dying and full of disease. Martin insisted that we have the tree stumps dug up. So we did. This is Eddie's machine. A guy that Martin works with. Yes, it is purple. Apparently this was a machine that was supposed to go to a different country. Why do people in other countries want a purple machine? I have no idea. Anyway, he let the kids play on it. I'm
sure it's something that OSHA wouldn't approve of, but hey, I'm not getting Mother of the Year this year anyway. I've already blew that. Another long story. Apparently, all of the mothers of children Alex's age in our neighborhood are out to get me. I'm telling you, I'm real scared. One of the mom's names is Echo, the other is a
Mormon. She judges me all of the time. So, I'm used to her. She really likes it when I sit out on my back porch with my glass of wine.
Since I'm on the subject of my
Mormon neighbors, you know what really pissed me off about them? They sent home a
Mormon bible with Alex the other day. What the hell? They know I'm Baptist and I occasionally go to church. They are not converting my son. No way. They also asked if Alex could go to church with them on Sunday. Um, let me see, no. I told Alex that they can't drink soda and that they can't play on Sundays and asked him if he really wanted to be a part of that. Who in the hell
tries to convert someone e
lse's child? The
Mormons that's who. Back off.
Last night was supposed to be the first night of football practice for Alex. It rained and Parks and Rec wouldn't let them practice. His coach is really nice. He is one of the football coaches for MU. Don't ask me his name. Kim help me out please. Another reason I won't be getting Mother of the Year.
He seems really nice and I think he will teach Alex a lot. I'm not sure how Alex will take to football. He has to practice 4 night a week. And I thought Cub Scouts was bad. I thought it was funny when the coach was talking to the parents and asked them to please not get involved with the refs, other coaches, etc. He would handle all of that, there was no need for the parents to get involved. What do you think he has
delt with in the past?
One of the perks of being a female, potty talk. It's been a long time since I've gone to the bathroom with a group of girls, but it used to be one of the highlights of my day. Going to the bathroom with my girls in between classes, at lunch, at a party. It was the place to "catch up" on the gossip and did you see so and so doing such and such and did you hear what he/she said? It was always the place to make sure you were looking your best and that your outfit was cute. The bathroom at our home or my friends homes were always packed before a big night out. It didn't matter who was doing what in the bathroom either, we all just did our thing and talked non stop. It was great. So, this is what I found my girls doing, practicing their potty talk. Good for them, keep the female traditions going.
My back yard is a mud pit. Again. We have done this before, a couple of years ago when we got the swing set. Another story. A few months ago we had to have the two big trees in our yard taken down. They were dying and full of disease. Martin insisted that we have the tree stumps dug up. So we did. This is Eddie's machine. A guy that Martin works with. Yes, it is purple. Apparently this was a machine that was supposed to go to a different country. Why do people in other countries want a purple machine? I have no idea. Anyway, he let the kids play on it. I'm sure it's something that OSHA wouldn't approve of, but hey, I'm not getting Mother of the Year this year anyway. I've already blew that. Another long story. Apparently, all of the mothers of children Alex's age in our neighborhood are out to get me. I'm telling you, I'm real scared. One of the mom's names is Echo, the other is a Mormon. She judges me all of the time. So, I'm used to her. She really likes it when I sit out on my back porch with my glass of wine. 
Since I'm on the subject of my Mormon neighbors, you know what really pissed me off about them? They sent home a Mormon bible with Alex the other day. What the hell? They know I'm Baptist and I occasionally go to church. They are not converting my son. No way. They also asked if Alex could go to church with them on Sunday. Um, let me see, no. I told Alex that they can't drink soda and that they can't play on Sundays and asked him if he really wanted to be a part of that. Who in the hell tries to convert someone else's child? The Mormons that's who. Back off.
Last night was supposed to be the first night of football practice for Alex. It rained and Parks and Rec wouldn't let them practice. His coach is really nice. He is one of the football coaches for MU. Don't ask me his name. Kim help me out please. Another reason I won't be getting Mother of the Year.
He seems really nice and I think he will teach Alex a lot. I'm not sure how Alex will take to football. He has to practice 4 night a week. And I thought Cub Scouts was bad. I thought it was funny when the coach was talking to the parents and asked them to please not get involved with the refs, other coaches, etc. He would handle all of that, there was no need for the parents to get involved. What do you think he has delt with in the past?
You are so funny. I'm sorry your neighbors are out to get you. Tell them to go read the bible some more. I think it says somewhere in there not to judge other people. My mom was telling me the exact scripture the other day but hell if I can remember it!!!
ReplyDeleteWell, there are several. The one I see most fit for this particular instance would be the following:
ReplyDeleteFor the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
I have thought about giving them a taste of their own medicine and fighting with scripture, but I can't ever remember them. Then I would just look stupid. It's more fun to sit on porch and drink wine.
Ok, now I think I have a plan. I think I'm going to make a big sign and stick it out in my front yard for all of my neighbors to see. It will read:
ReplyDeleteDo not speak evil against one another, brothers (or all of you sisters in my neighbor hood). The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother (or sister, you know who you are), speaks evil against the law and judges the law (you do not want to judge the Big Guy). But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge (Umm, too many chiefs and not enough indians?). There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy (yeah, so back off or He will destroy you!). But who are you to judge your neighbor(Amen, just who in the hell do you think you are?)?
I'm not the best at deciphering scriptures but I think that pretty much sums up how I feel. I'll just fight fire with fire. Maybe that will send them home praying, begging for forgivness. Leave your freakin' neighbor lady alone. Can I get a AMEN?
Amen!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm converting to the Church of Angie. I hear they host a happy hour bible study. That's what I'm looking for.
ReplyDeleteLove the bathroom picture of the 2 girls, too cute!!
ReplyDelete